Two More of the Sixteen Writers Featured Under the Jasper Literary Arts Tent at This Year's Rosewood Art & Music Festival - Jo Angela Edwins and Randy Spencer!

We’re excited to invite you to join Jasper and 16 of SC’s finest working writers under the Jasper Literary Arts Tent at this year’s Rosewood Art & Music Festival on Saturday, October 7th from noon - 5 pm. Over the next few weeks we will be spotlighting each of these literary artists here at Jasper Online. Come back to this site often to learn more about these local literary treasures!

Jo Angela Edwins has published poems in over 100 journals and anthologies, recently or forthcoming in The Hollins Critic, Sho Poetry Journal, ONE ART, and Delta Poetry Review. Her collection A Dangerous Heaven was published this year by Gnashing Teeth Publishing, and her chapbook Play was published in 2016 by Finishing Line Press. She has received awards from Winning Writers, Poetry Super Highway, The Jasper Project's Fall Lines, and the South Carolina Academy of Authors. She is a Pushcart Prize, Forward Prize, Best of the Net, and Bettering American Poetry nominee. She teaches at Francis Marion University in Florence, SC, where she serves as the first poet laureate of the Pee Dee region of South Carolina.

Randy Spencer is a retired child psychiatrist living in Chapin. He has a B.A. from William and Mary, his medical degree from Emory University, and an M.F.A. in poetry from South Carolina. He has published two chapbooks of poetry, The Failure of Magic and What the body Knows, and one full-length collection, The Color After Green, a volume of environmentally-inspired poems. His poems have appeared in regional and national journals and anthologies, and in 2022 he was nominated for a Pushcart Prize for a poem on the war in Ukraine. His stories and poems have been in Jasper's Fall Lines a literary convergence. His next book, Andersonville, will be out this winter from Muddy Ford Press and is a long sequence of poems telling the story of a prisoner in Andersonville Military Prison in 1864.

Join Us Under the Jasper Literary Arts Tent at Rosewood Art & Music Festival – October 7th

You’re invited to join the Jasper Project and some of your favorite local writers of poetry and prose under the Jasper Literary Arts Tent at the 2023 Rosewood Art & Music Festival on Saturday, October 7th from noon – 5 pm.*

You’ll get to hear some of your favorite Columbia-based writers read from a selection of their works, purchase their books, and then meet the authors and have your books signed.

*Authors will read during the first half of each hour and then sign and greet friends during the second half of each hour.

901 S Holly St, Columbia, SC 29205

 SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

Noon – 1 pm

Carla Damron

Jane Zenger

Sandra Johnson

 

1 – 2 pm

Evelyn Berry

Debbie Daniel

Susan Craig

 

2 - 3 pm

Terri McCord

Ann Chadwell Humphries

Robert (Bo) Petersen

 

3 – 4 pm

Jo Angela Edwins

Randy Spencer

Kristine Hartvigsen

 

4 – 5 pm

Al Black

Ed Madden

Cassie Premo Steele

For more information about the performing and visual artists you’ll see at the Rosewood Art & Music Festival, check out the festival website!

A Poem by Randy Spencer

In this summer of Oppenheimer (and Barbie) mania, Chapin poet Randy Spencer was reminded of this poem, which he read in 2002 at a gathering for Richard Rhodes when he came to USC for a discussion of his "The Making of the Atomic Bomb." Jasper is pleased to share this with you 21 years later.

                                                                 

Georgia O'Keeffe Discusses Her Poem

 

                        [1945] My Ghost Ranch in New Mexico is due North

                        of Los Alamos. I have painted two canvases of the sky

                        pouring through the pelvic bones of cows, the first where

                        that light is deep blue, and the second where the sky turns

                        yellow and blood seems to pore from the circle of bone.

 

 

Pelvis III, 1944, Oil on Canvas, 48 x 40

Pelvis Series, Red and Yellow, 1945, 36 x 48

 

Pelvic bones, held up, are wondrous against the sky's blue

I felt would always be there, fixed, long after Man's

Destructiveness is finished. Cut sharply, they are a beauty

At the center of something unique, both horrifying and grand,

Empty, yet keenly alive. Perfect ovals, my eye captures

Them as elopements toward Infinity, absent any middle ground,

No perspective intervening between Birth and Death, treasures

I searched for among the camposantos until they were found.

 

Now red encircles the yellow, the acetabulum, the vinegar cup,

The foramen of blood, Batter, then, my heart,

Oppenheimer, quoting Donne, Three-personed Deity, now his Trinity,

His opening of an orifice for God to sculpt.

What colors, I would ask, could be left for the pacifist artist

Who magnifies emptiness, who paints Death against the desert sky.

- Randy Spencer

Photos courtesy of the Georgia O’Keefe Museum

Randy Spencer is a retired child psychiatrist living on the lake in Chapin. He is a published poet and short story writer, who most recently was a Pushcart Award nominee for a poem about the Ukraine war. His upcoming book from Muddy Ford Press is a series of interconnected poems taking place in Andersonville Military Prison in Georgia during the Civil War, but the themes are universal and timeless. He is currently working on a novella that reimagines Remarque's classic World War II novel, A Time to Love and a Time to Die, but is set in the current conflict in Ukraine.

Columbia Poets Al Black and Randy Spencer Featured in Piccolo Spoleto’s Sundown Poetry Series

Al Black and Randy Spencer are effervescent poets, speakers who refuse to hold back or look away from what asks to be gazed upon. In their work, readers are taken on a journey of intertwining rivers where you learn about their histories, intimate parts of yourself, and the spaces and places in which we dwell. Keep reading to learn more about Piccolo Spoleto’s Sundown Poetry Series and Black and Spencer—and discover two poems from the artists. 

Former Charleston Mayor Joe Riley launched Piccolo Spoleto in 1979, two years after Italian composer Gian Carlo Menotti founded Spoleto Festival USA. Piccolo, alluding to the smallest woodwind and thus the smaller festival within the larger Spoleto, has reflected the City of Charleston’s desire to showcase local art and artists. 

The Sundown Poetry Series is one of the oldest events in Piccolo history, with the goal of featuring a select number of local poets. The current selection committee consists of Ed Gold, Katherine Williams, and Curtis Derrick. According to Derrick, the application process for poets parallels the process for all Piccolo Spoleto artists and is based on a submission of work. At times, however, the selection committee directly invites applications from poets who have “achieved particular notoriety or had recent book publications.”  

The original venue for the Sundown Series was the courtyard at the Dock Street Theater—so drama patrons could enjoy poetry as an art “appetizer” before a performance—but this year Sundown is being held in the Lenhardt Garden of the Gibbes Museum of Art to accommodate more efficient social distancing. 

Eight poets are being featured this year, one per evening, in the following order: Al Black, Valerie Nieman, H.R. “Randy” Spencer, Lola Haskins, Dr. David B. Axelrod, Kwoya Fagin Maples, Grace C. Ocasio, and Ren Ruggiero—two of the poets, Black and Spencer, are Columbia-based. 

Al Black has published two poetry collections: I Only Left for Tea (2014) and Man with Two Shadows (2018), both with Muddy Ford Press. He co-edited Hand in Hand, Poets Respond to Race (2017) and has been published in several anthologies, journals, periodicals, and blogs. He hosts various arts events, co-founded the Poets Respond to Race Initiative, and was Jasper Project’s 2017 Literary Artist of the Year. 

Black expresses anticipation for the reading—while often not the type to seek out readings and more so the one to host them, he deeply enjoys being a part of them. Derrick reached out to Black in 2019 and asked if he would be interested in reading for Sundown, and Black accepted and was slated for 2020, but when the festival was cancelled due to COVID-19, the poets were moved to 2021. 

Spencer was also originally slated to read in 2020 and is looking forward to reading this week. H.R. “Randy” Spencer is the author of several chapbooks, and his first full collection, The Color After Green, was published in 2019 by Finishing Line Press. As stated on Piccolo Spoleto’s Facebook, “Recently featured on SCETV’s By the River, this collection of contemporary nature poems is both personal and reaches for larger concerns around climate and ecological changes, sometimes set in the South Carolina Lowcountry.”

Spencer previously read as part of the Sundown Series in 2012 and had such a positive experience that, after the required waiting period between reapplying, he immediately applied to read again. “I don’t do many readings, and my favorite are small groups where we can sit and talk,” he divulges, “I’m looking forward to sharing my work with whoever comes.”   

Spencer says that he will start off the reading with poems from his collection but will mix up what he reads to fit this event. “I change it up due to where I am,” he shares, “Since it’s in Charleston, I’ll do more poems that have to do with the coast and the low country and traveling.”  

He will also read outside the book, reading some books from a chapbook of poems about the COVID-19 pandemic. He also recently wrote a poem in the Gullah language as a means to preserve and honor the lyrical language, and he hopes to read it during the event as well. 

Black also likes to switch readings up based on where he is performing. He will have the time it takes to read a work at the top of each poem’s page to ensure he fits within the time limit—each reading is approximately 40-45 minutes with time for a Q&A after. 

“I never have a set list of poems to read—I’ll have 2-3 poems in my head that I might open the night with, but I’ll walk in and try to get a feel for the night,” Black intimates, “based on people’s reactions I may end up reading a poem I’ve never read before.” 

Black intends to start “edgy,” potentially touching on racism and/or women’s issues. He will likely start with his first book (I Only Left for Tea), then move to the book about his father (Man with Two Shadows), then various publications, then a book about his mother—which he is currently prepping for publication—before ending with new work. 

Both Spencer and Black look forward to sharing work new and old in a fresh space. In that vein, both poets have offered a poem for the audiences of this blog. Spencer’s poem is from The Color After Green, and he feels it is a companion piece to the Gullah poem he may read at the event. Black’s poem is a recent one he was compelled to write after watching an ad card fall from a magazine.

Al.png

Beatitudes

 

Blessed is the morning.

Blessed is the coffee.

Blessed is the sun before the rain.

Blessed are the birds

that dampen traffic noise.

Blessed is the train that wails

and the siren song that fades.

Blessed is the drone of the plane that stays aloft.

Blessed are the dog walkers, the couples,

the skateboarders, the bike riders,

the joggers, the mommies pushing strollers,

and the daddies carrying daughters on shoulders.

Blessed are the lonely.

Blessed is the greening tree.

Blessed are the flowers that grow wild.

Blessed is the broken fence rail

I step over to enter the park.

Blessed is the cat that chases the squirrel

and the dog that scares the cat.

Blessed is the silent leaf blower

when the neighbor takes a break.

Blessed is the moss that fills

the empty spaces with color.

Blessed is the blue recycling bin

that sits outside our kitchen door.

Blessed is the card stock magazine ad

that falls at my feet

for it shall become a bookmark.

 

—     Al Black, 2021

 

Randy Spencer.png

Wind

                        September 23, 1989:

 

I can still feel it. The wind last night

sucked the breath out of me, flung it screaming

over the live oak and limbless pine.

Then the water swelling, some deep voice

sliding up to us, a dark face, its white woolen beard

spilling over us, straining the ballast

that kept our house rooted like a stiff barnacle

to some tether in the sand

My ears still roar like a seashell.

 

The ominous calm coming next. That calm

without even the random rustle of life,

birds appearing, silent in the dead air.

When the eye came, I walked outside.

There was a hole straight up

through all that darkness, like a tunnel,

starlight like pinhole punctures in a black screen.

I could barely see the pines, stunted, still straight,

but snapped off midway up, all clipped

the same height, bodiless legs

left planted in clay boots. I could see

cuts opened up in hardwoods, limbs broken

from live oaks, shrubs uprooted, scattered, terrifying.

 

It came back worse than before,

blowing oppositely, humming its tune

differently over the stringed forest. Inside,

when I could fall sleep I dreamed my ankle

braceletted by a whirl of rope leaping overboard

after an anchor, dragging me after it,

dreams of fish flying, their silver pancaked scales

covering my eyes, cutting into me like razors.

 

Then, this morning. Coming out

seeing sailboats piled like cordwood,

battered and strewn over the marsh,

masts stepped vertically yesterday

laying over now, angled north

as if they were still carrying sail,

reduced to sundials marking shadows in the morning sun,

birds blown north, vagrants, wounded, dazed,

Shells everywhere, freshly gutted open,

still slick with gristle or beaten white

and smooth, broken on some rock,

then carried inland, a whelk settled in a cowshed,

a purplish clam in a seaside garden

where chrysanthemums should be in bloom,

with my neighbors empty house half lifted

from its foundation and nesting in spartina grass,

on an ordinary autumn day

               with bright sunshine, mild sea breezes, soft breakers.

 

—    H.R. Spencer, from The Color After Green (in reference to Hurricane Hugo)

If you’re interested in potentially hearing these poems out loud and in hearing more from these poets, both readings occur in the coming days in Charleston. Black opens the Sundown Series tomorrow, June 1st, and Spencer reads Thursday, June 3rd. Both events begin at 6:30pm.  

Spencer’s collection can be purchased at larger retailers or directly from the publishing house, Finishing Line Press: https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/the-color-after-green-by-h-r-spencer/  

Black’s books can also be purchased at larger retailers or the publishing house, Muddy Ford Press: https://www.amazon.com/Man-Two-Shadows-Al-Black/dp/1942081162

-Christina Xan

In observance of the 75th anniversary of the US use of atomic weaponry on Hiroshima and Nagasaki -- A poem by Randy Spencer

This month marks the 75th anniversary of the use of the atomic bomb and the atrocities of nuclear war. The United States dropped atomic bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on August 6 and 9, 1945, leading to the end of World War Two. The explosion in Hiroshima killed an estimated 80,000 people and thousands more would die as the result of exposure to radiation. Midlands poet Randy Spencer commemorates this anniversary with his poem, "Yasuhiko Shigemoto's Walk." No more Hiroshimas.

- Ed Madden

Poetry Editor, Jasper Magazine

The “Shadow” of a Hiroshima Victim, Etched into Stone Steps, Is All That Remains After 1945 Atomic Blast — Open Culture

The “Shadow” of a Hiroshima Victim, Etched into Stone Steps, Is All That Remains After 1945 Atomic Blast — Open Culture

YASUHIKO SHIGEMOTO'S WALK

 

                                                August 6, 1945

 

a curled red oak leaf

crab-walks across a flat stone

our summer will end soon

 

half my schoolmates and I

lunch in cool shadows beneath the bridge

an almost dry river bed

 

my belly exposed,

a white flash in the southern sky

blisters its soft skin

 

sudden, violent heat

as if something touches me

with hot tongs

 

in the bright light

inerasable shadows

where someone stood

 

on a wall, how could

empty space become shadows

light become dark

 

shadows that cannot

move with the changing sun,

trees leveled, no leaves

 

cicadas have hushed,

a silence waiting

the season to reverse

 

a huge jellyfish

a mushroom high in the sky

dust clouds

 

become a column

a pillar of fire rising

in the dark air

 

injured begin

to appear, walking along

the narrow river

 

from their outstretched arms

flesh hangs, sheets of skin drape

from backs, abdomens

 

if their arms drop

pain is overwhelming

screams shatter the calm

 

half of my classmates

were working in the city center.

are they dead? One calls

 

to me from the river

and I fall into the line

marching away

 

pink chrysanthemum

blossoms open their dark hearts

black rain is falling

 

 

Based on "My A-Bomb experience in Hiroshima," a speech given by Hiroshima survivor Yasuhiko Shigemoto on July 29, 1995 at the Plenary Session of "No More Hiroshimas Conference" at London University commemorating the 50th anniversary of the end of W.W. II.

                                               

                                                            H.R. Spencer

                                                            hrspencer@gmail.com

Corona Times - Sharing Randy Spencer's Fall Lines-Winning Short Fiction, New Poetry, and Interview with Jasper

Author & Retired physician Randy Spencer

Author & Retired physician Randy Spencer

Earlier this summer, Jasper announced the accepted contributors to this year’s Fall Lines - a literary convergence, now in its 7th year, but opted to hold the release of the book until our community of writers can safely gather together for a reading and celebration. But we won’t make you wait any longer to read the winning entries of the Saluda River Prize for Poetry and the Broad River Prize for Prose.

In this edition of Jasper’s Corona Times Blog Series, please meet Randy Spencer, winner of the Broad River Prize for Prose. You can learn a bit about Spencer, and check out both his winning short fiction as well as a new pandemic-related poem debuting on the Jasper Project website below.

 

Days by Days

                                                H.R. Spencer

                                                8.5.20

 

Flying is easy. It's hovering that's hard.

Watch the hummingbird

how effortlessly he flies

from plant to plant

and how much more difficult

to remain stationary in the air

wings beating three thousand

times a minute

or the osprey circling

and struggling to balance himself

keep an eye on his target

until in a blink

he plunges into the water

as if he were a sharp stone

pulled down only by gravity.

 

We are hovering now

this last half year or so

marshalling all our energies

only to stand in place

unable to flit gracefully plant to plant

or dive forward like the osprey

unable even

to make the days count

caught in this miasma

this ancient warp of "bad air"

this terminal inertia 

our frantic wingbeats

our desperation

our grim paralytic fear. 

 

Today's agenda:

open my eyes, think hard

is this Wednesday or Thursday

or maybe did I skip Tuesday altogether

have I slipped unannounced

from July into August without noticing

or have I inadvertently

announced that August is about arrive

our days by days gather us in

relieved only by a late-day shower.

~~~

Thank you, Randy, for agreeing to share your work and a bit about yourself with Jasper. You have a fascinating background so let’s start with that.

 

JASPER: For folks who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet, I can share that you are a retired physician, right? But can you please elaborate on this – how long did you practice and what was your specialty? And, while we’re at it, where are you from – did you grow up in SC or did something bring you here?

SPENCER: I was born and grew up along the James River in Virginia and went to college 20 miles from home at William and Mary. I came to South Carolina in 1972 to do a 2-year fellowship in Child Psychiatry and have remained here since that time. I retired several years ago, but for 45 years I practiced primarily in a number of Community Mental Health Centers here, but also as a consultant for the Department of Social Services and, back in the eighties, for the juvenile justice agency. I also helped develop the S.C. Continuum of Care for Emotionally Disturbed Children.

JASPER: And now you live on Lake Murray, right? How long have you been there?

SPENCER: We've been living on a quiet cove on Lake Murray since 1986.

JASPER: When did writing become a part of your life?

SPENCER: This question is easy. When I was a junior and senior in high school I was one of the editors of the school magazine and things took off from there, and I studied playwriting and short story writing in college. In medical school, maybe for obvious reasons, creative writing took a back seat. I went back to college at U.S.C., at first just a few classes under James Dickey and later to enter the M.F.A. program in Poetry.

JASPER: Who have been your influences as a writer?

SPENCER: People always ask whose work influenced you the most, and the truth is that influences from other poets constantly changed over different periods in my life. I can look back now at who I was most influenced early, Robert Lowell, and wonder "why." But Theodore Roethke has been an early favorite who has stuck with me. Early on, I studied with Jim Dickey, a remarkable class out of which came a number of remarkable published poets and which really stimulated me to write. Right now, today, my favorite poet is David St. John. If you read a lot of my poems, most of which are unpublished, you'll see a number of poems in tribute to or elegies for poets or visual artists I felt a kinship toward.

JASPER: We know your work has appeared in several Jasper and Muddy Ford Press publications A Sense of the Midlands and Limelight (MFP) as well as in a number of additional anthologies such as The Art of Medicine as Metaphor and the South Carolina Collection and journals, Borderlands and Yemassee. Can you tell us about The Failure of Magic and What the Body Knows?

SPENCER: Like many poets starting out (and later, too) I would go to workshops to study under already successful writers and The Failure of Magic came out of a writers conference at Winthrop and they published it. What the Body Knows was published out of the Poetry Initiative at the University of South Carolina. Both were smaller chapbooks. Revised versions of a few of the poems in the second chapbook are in my full-length The Color After Green. Getting to discuss that book on SCETV's By the River has been the highlight of the year.

JASPER: In 2019, Jasper had the honor of writing about your publication, The Color After Green in our magazine. How long did you work on this piece of writing and what was the origin of these poems?

Spencer: The Color After Green was a themed book and all of the poems were contemporary nature poems, or what is called "ecopoetry," or poems about the environment in some fashion or another. To put together an entire volume of poems with a similar focus meant using some older poems written as long as twenty years ago along with some which were very recent at the time the manuscript was submitted, plus all the time in between. There are a lot of poems with coastal settings, sometimes in Virginia where I grew up and others in South Carolina, where I've lived since 1972. There's a poem about Hurricane Hugo, for example, which was first written probably 10 years after the storm. There are other poems reflecting the frightening changes in our environment as related to various species, from barnacles to monarch butterflies to horseshoe crabs and birds.

JASPER: You’ve also created the stage work, Becoming Robert Frost. Can we hear more about this piece?

SPENCER: It started as just a few short poems, then grew into a three-act verse drama, and now has been submitted as a hybrid verse-prose novel. It meant a lot to see several staged reading of the work as a play, and I got to read almost half of it at Piccolo Spoleto paired with another to read the dialogue. It has been worked and reworked over years and I like the way it reads now, but I've also broken various characters out as short stories, so we'll see where it goes. The play/ poetry/ novel/ short story is the imagined last day in Robert Frost's life in the hospital in Boston and the fictional conversations he carries on in dreams with deceased family members and the two characters from his poem, "Home Burial." I studied playwriting again at U.S.C. and playwriting has had a tremendous influence on the germination of my poetry. Writing for the stage forces you to write in the multiple voices of different characters, and in my book I write poems in the voices of Thomas Jefferson, John James Audubon, Georgia O'keeffe, and in one poem, a fable, have animals conversing with one another. You so often hear about "finding your own voice" as a poet, but it has always seemed more challenging and "fun" to me to deliberately steer in the other direction.

JASPER: Congratulations on winning the Broad River Prize for Prose in this year’s Fall Lines literary journal. Given that we’re sitting on the release of the journal until we can gather all the writers to celebrate together, we’re stepping out of the box and publishing your winning story, Ghost Ship, below. Set that story up for us, please. Where did it come from and what meaning does it carry for you?

SPENCER: "Ghost Ship" is part of a continuing project to bring to life a fictional group of characters living on an unnamed island in the Chesapeake Bay, not too different, I suppose, from Tangier or Smith Islands. These few remaining inhabited islands are threatened with annihilation both simply from chronic erosion, but also by sudden, catastrophic storms. A story from that same cast of characters was in Fall Lines 2019. I grew up close to the Chesapeake Bay and have visited Tangier Island. I would stress, though, that the characters are totally fictional. Winning the Broad River Prize is a great honor.

JASPER: We also opened this post up with a new poem from you, highly pertinent to where so many of us find ourselves today. Can you talk a bit about the origins of this piece, too, please?

SPENCER: "Days by Days," I hope, would resonate with all our frustrations with the tedium of isolation and lack of social contact, trying to stay healthy and keep others healthy. It certainly reflects my own feelings toward a life that seems to simply hover in one place and yet use up or waste tremendous energy. At the end of the day you feel physically and emotionally exhausted, but haven't done anything.

JASPER: So, as a physician and an author, what’s your advice for the rest of us on how we can get through this pandemic and the political turmoil that we find ourselves in?

SPENCER: I would say "Do as I say and not as I do," that is, don't watch the news obsessively. Instead immerse yourself in a hobby or something creative. Read, although I know if I said to "read poetry," that would truly fall mostly on deaf ears. I'd say, "Don't follow all the conspiracy theorists to convince you of the real truth." and "Take the vaccine when it's available. No one in going to inject  you with alien proteins that take over your brain." We can get through this, however painfully.

 

~~~

GHOST SHIP

 

Randy Spencer

 

            "It was a dark and stormy night. A pissy dark and stormy night."

 

            Sarah didn't like it when I said that--making jokes at a time like that. But she's young. Hess understood. Sometimes you make bad jokes to hide when you're scared. Hess and I grew up together--had been through it before. A hurricane riding up the Bay and flooding the island like this. Anna didn't grow up here, but she got the joke--the need to laugh when things seem the most desperate.

 

            But it's funny how the mind works times like that--

           

            What I was thinking about--at that time--back in the church--the four of us huddled together, feet soaked, water sloshing over the cushions in the pews, rising  almost up to the pulpit--the wind tearin' at church windows--shutters slamming and still four hours until the peak tide. Not knowing anything--feeling helpless. Totally helpless.

 

            And, God, through it all I couldn't stop thinking about how it was when we were children, at least when Hess and I were. And thinking of Ollie and Ted, and Roland, too.

 

            And we were there earlier last night, and only a few hours later, wading--swimming--out of the church, and climbin' up onto Roland's empty old break-away boat, a Godsend, a miracle floating up out of nowhere--a ghost ship--then huddled aboard her when it seemed like the church would have collapsed around us. The last chance we had.

 

            Hess said she thought this one was worse than the others. I was thinking, too, all things considered, this might be a pretty shitty rescue vehicle. Terrified--that piece of rust  might tear loose again, float off--sink--capsize--and you knew we were fuckin' screwed any whichaway.

 

            And so I just sat there telling the others how forty years ago--Christ--our childhood I'm telling them about, and they could care less--we could have all been drowned by morning. I can say that now. It was Anna's idea that we keep talking. Tell stories, anything--it was a low bar--just try to stay awake.

 

            We were in so much shit--but I only wanted  to talk about re-living being a child..

 

            You know what I kept remembering--this vivid image coming to me back in the church. Us being invited into Roland's bedroom one night--in this total darkness--where he kept that big aquarium. I asked Hess if she remembered?

 

            She did. "I remember--full of creatures he brought home."

 

            And that night he swished his hand into the water and the whole room lit up when he brushed against comb jellies he had collected. Tonight when I looked down in the aisle at the church--in the total darkness--and I ran my hand under the water and jellies would light up-- LIGHT  UP--fuckin' light up in the total darkness in the sanctuary, and I panicked--I don't think the others realized it. I didn't scream out loud, but I panicked just the same--like I was trapped in this giant aquarium.

 

            Then Ollie's drownin' came back over me. I panicked inside--inside, my breath cut off, my heart racin,' where I felt darkest--and I could feel Ollie grabbin' at my ankles under the water --I could look down and see his face all crowned over with seagrass--his hands reaching out from  it --tryin' to pull me under. I never felt anything like that since he died--and I'm thinkin'--he's here--he's right here--in this water--this is where he drowned--

 

            I knew he wasn't there--far from it--but I  couldn't stop thinking he was.

 

            That's why I tried to think about how it was when we were children, the three of us--Hess and me and Roland, had such good times--how kind the water seemed then--before all the shit that came after--and tonight just topped it all off--and I think about it,

 

            So I just told these happy stories, and blocked everything else out.

 

But it was Anna trying to figure out how we could survive. She left us, wading--half-swimming--in water up past her waist and headed toward the front door.

 

When she pulled it open, the water surged in and she yelled at us there was a large boat of some sort out there. All dark, but big as life. And when lightning struck again, she hollered it was Roland's old abandoned supply boat, all forty foot of her. It was so dark and she couldn't see anybody onboard. It seemed to be stuck on the bottom, shaking, but not really rocking up and down in the waves. And the waves are coming pretty hard, pinching through the church door and knocking her off her feet.

 

You don't know prayer honestly--real, heartfelt prayer--until you're in a spot like that, and the wind is howling around the church and through the open door and we're breathing nothing but salt spray, and Anna screamed at us to work our way along the wall to stay out of the swells and come toward her.

 

Anna keeping us in her direction, her voice yelling louder than the wind and I hear her say the boat is only about fifteen feet away, and between us and the worst of the storm and there's debris piled up where we can maybe crawl on top of it, climb on the platform at the stern. She's calm like there's nothing to it and we just need to trust what she's telling us. The water wasn't cold. Not warm exactly, but warm enough. I'm having to grab the end of each pew and inch myself along. And halfway along the wall I touch the bronze plaque. The one that honors all the crabbers lost in storms and accidents, and I stop for a moment and run my fingers across the raised letters and the last name is Ollie's and I start to cry, didn't  want to leave. Then I hear Anna speaking, closer now.

 

            You could see the lines hanging limply from the starboard side, like she had been tied up and torn free afterwards by the wind. We climbed on,  bunched there, the four of us--all women-- inside on the main cabin. It was still dry and the large boat--steel-hulled--a former ocean-going tug  refitted to carry passengers and ferry supplies. It was stuck on what should have been the West Ridge, opposite the church and seemed to be impervious to the storm.

            The wind whistled around the pilot house. Made a banshee-like sound like nothing I had ever heard. We were soaked and hungry, but just crouched there listening to the storm, knowing in our hearts the wind was going to split her top open and the rain to pour inside. But everything held together and we just waited. Hess had a watch, said it was 1:30 and we had at least three and a half hours before we could see outside. Sarah made her peace with God and was asleep off and on. I tried not to, but I think I dozed off from exhaustion, five, ten minutes at the most. I never saw Hess close her eyes.  Like she was our nurse, on duty to the end.

            The water was still rising. If we had stayed in the church we would not have any way out.  We would have all drowned.

            There were loud, creaking, hollow sounds that were are terrifying. Then a lurch. Then we pitched wildly and heeled over toward one side. Then broke free. You could actually hear timbers underneath us cracking and releasing us, the whole sequence over in less than a minute.  We  thought for a moment the boat might  tip over. I knew the Margaret Ann to draw about six feet of water, and we were floating again. She seemed to regain her balance, rocking back and  forth like an unsteady drunk, but not falling too far. And we were moving. The winds, the high-running surf breaking over the island, carried us away from the island, a rudderless meandering, a sickening motion that could end up to no good. We were crying, momentary relief and fear bound into one emotion..

            That night on the boat I didn't really sleep. Crumpled there, almost getting too drowsy where I couldn't control it, but never giving in. We talked a lot. When there was a lull we told stories.

           

            I talked about soft crabbing, just Roland and I. I was probably eight or nine and he was two years younger. We would push a dip net through the eelgrass, dropping soft crabs into the floating crab box he had hammered together. Those were times when the island was easily a hundred, maybe two hundred yards wider all the way around than it is now. There were shallow shoals outside the spartina where the eelgrass was so thick you had to struggle your way through it. I can step out my back door now and walk fifty yards and on a king tide be up to my knees in water.

           

            Back then we used to sell the soft crabs to the wives of hard potters, and they loved getting them like that, still fresh and kicking. "I still remember your mother, Hess," I told her, "You don't know this. I was ten, and I had never cleaned one of those crabs and she told me she was too busy and she wanted me to clean them for her and she would pay me extra, so I did what I had seen my own mother do when they had been in the cooler, only these crabs were alert and feisty and when I took the kitchen shears and tried to cut their faces off they raised a ruckus and I can still remember that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I never sold, offered to sell, your mother another crab. That's the truth."

 

            Then there would be a sudden jolt and we'd all pitch forward and sprawl out on the deck and stop, then suddenly started moving again. Then we struck hard against the bottom. Stopped for a bit, then the whole thing all over. No one knew what was going to happen. Whether the hull would rip open. Whether we'd sink or even capsize if we really got blown out over deep water. It was 3:30 in the morning when we really seemed to break free. Pitch dark. And the real fear, the dread, even hopelessness took over. We were drifting west, but none of us knew how far it would be to the other side.

 

            When it started to get brighter out I stood up. The wind had stopped. The water was calm. We thought we had blown to the west side of the Bay, but had hardly drifted anywhere. Maybe a few hundred yards from where we started. 

            I could look east when the sun broke between clouds and I could really know why we had to leave the church. It had caved in. You could see a section of wall with one stained glass window light up in the early sun. Everything was gone. I could see it was gone, the whole island just wiped away. A few slight smears of sand creasing the surface, water lapping at jumbles of  marsh grass. Houses simply gone. Debris everywhere, as far as I could see. Boats sunk. Crab shanties marked by a few stark poles supporting a broken cross joist or two. A few nets draped over the surface.

            When I glanced over the side, a crab, a large jimmie, swam next to us--that peculiar sideways crab swim, the one where you think it can't look ahead, can't see where it's going.

~~~

by Cindi Boiter

Cindi Boiter is the editor of Jasper Magazine and ED of the The Jasper Project.

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